Last Tuesday (1-17-12) I was up in Los Angeles attending the taping of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, when Adam Lambert gave that incredible performance of Better Than I Know Myself. I am so grateful that my girlfriend Diana Juarez had extra spaces on her ticket, and offered them to Lila and me. A few days later, miraculously Lila also got tickets, and was able to invite more local fans to be with us in-studio. Through Twitter and email, we found that many more of our friends would also be there.

Wanting to continue the party with so many great friends, I arranged an after-taping dinner at Miceli’s Restaurant, a wonderful Italian restaurant that a few of us had eaten at before, when we were in Los Angeles for another Adam adventure. Both Miceli’s locations (Hollywood and Universal City) are known for being the only restaurant in the area where the serving staff sings while you’re eating. Our group of 8 grew to 12, then 16, then 19. In fact, many of you might know them via Twitter. Our group consisted of (twitter names) @lliillaa, @lisalisansd, @suz526, @glspence01, @CoralMermaid, @Sue_in_LA, @angelraj, @remavineyard, @Sherry12559, @adams-kitty, @ovationimpact, @heartnnsoul, @diedreinorbit, @adamfanann, @scmtnbert and me, @cmhagey. Also joining us were Mary Jane, Janis and Sandi. (Sorry, I don’t have all the Twitter names!)

From my several conversations with the restaurant updating our number, I learned that a few of the staff knew Adam, and they were thrilled we supported him. They were looking forward to a group of Glamberts coming in!

As we were finishing our delicious meal, server Shannon Warne, came up to the table and greeted us, telling us she’d been in plays with Adam ten years earlier. We were all so excited that she came to talk with us. This was someone who actually knew Adam! We started asking her about him, and she quickly told us “everyone knew how special Adam was.” They knew he was going to be a star! She was quick to point out that the Adam she knew didn’t look like the Adam of today. She said he had reddish-blond hair and his weight was different. I don’t think this was news to anyone, but those within his past circle may not realize how much his fans know about him!

Shannon was happy to share some stories from their friendship. This was during the time of American Idol’s first seasons. She told us she didn’t watch the show, but Adam was obsessed with Kelly Clarkson. After Season 1 was over, Adam would make Shannon sit in the car with him and listen to Kelly’s CD. He sang along and raved about how good she was! Then Season 2 came on, and every week he’d make Shannon watch it with him. We asked who he liked that year, and she said when it came to Ruben and Clay, that he liked Clay. They never talked about voting, but she told us she “was sure he was voting like crazy!” I feel so much better now about the hours I spent, voting for Adam! If he did spend time voting for Clay (or anyone for that matter!), then he truly understands the efforts his fans have made for him. I don’t remember if you could text vote during the early seasons, so if not, he was sitting on the phone hitting the redial, just like us!

Soon after Season 2 of American Idol, Shannon and Adam lost track of each other. This is until Shannon started seeing television commercials for Season 8 and she couldn’t believe it when she saw Adam on them! She called him and left a message asking “what are you doing on that show?!” He texted back something like “OMG! Everything is going so fast – it’s really crazy!” Unfortunately, that was their last contact. Maybe if he reads this, he’ll get back in touch with her!

To learn more about Shannon, you can visit her website here.

Shannon Warne

After Shannon left our table, we were so giddy, not believing our great luck in meeting her. Next, our waiter Christopher Carothers tells us he’d also been in plays with Adam! We’d already been delighted in listening to Christopher sing that night, and couldn’t believe he’d been keeping this secret! Hadn’t he heard the table talking about Adam and the stunning BTIKM we’d just heard?!! He went on to tell us about a night in 2002 when they were appearing together, whent Adam cleared the house! Adam and Christopher were in the Fullerton Civic Light Opera’s performance of My Fair Lady, at the Plummer Auditorium. When the second act started, Christopher was on-stage, and all of a sudden the fire alarms started going off. Backstage, Adam had knocked a soda can over onto the fire alarm, causing the audience to evacuate. Christopher said Adam got into trouble, but not as much as the person who left the can there!

Like Shannon, Christopher also says he knew Adam had talent like no other. It seems everyone knew Adam was a star among stars. You can learn more about Christopher here.

Jan and Christopher Carothers

Even though I couldn’t see Adam when he sang, I’m not complaining. I got to be there and hear it live! But most of all, I had a fantastic day spent with the most incredible group of ladies, and the bonus of hearing these amazing stories from Adam’s former peers. Glambs, we got our first exclusive! I’m happy to share this with you!

Love ya!

~ Carol ~

Hey Glambs –this is going to be a very special week for us. We’ll be celebrating the holiday with our families and friends remembering everything we have to be thankful for. And in this troubled economic time, we might have to dig a little deeper. At your Thanksgiving dinner table, does everyone join hands and say something special that they’re thankful for? At my table I’ll be including Adam, my new friends via Adam and this web site, even if it’s a silent remembrance so as to not further irk those who love me and put up with my obsession and devotion.

Tonight is the debut of E! True Hollywood Story featuring Adam Lambert. This will play several times through the end of the month, and longer probably. Don’t you think it’s ironic that the debut is opposite of this year’s American Music Awards?!? The one they’ve been hyping with reference to last year’s big surpise that they won’t name or show among their clips!

To start your Thanksgiving off, here’s a preview of tonight’s Adam Lambert’s E! True Hollywood Story!

The following story came from a local San Diego paper. It sounds like Adam will be completely open as usual, hopefully giving us some new surprises. I’m so excited to learn they’ll be showing film from the San Diego stop of his Glam Nation Tour and everyone who watches will get to see what we’ve been ogling about since June!

Love ya!

~ Carol ~

From the North County Times; story by Pam Kragen:
North County-bred pop star Adam Lambert is the subject of an “E! True Hollywood Story” profile that will premiere at 9 p.m. Sunday on the E! cable network.
The one-hour documentary features interviews with Lambert, his family, his drama and singing teachers at Mt. Carmel High School, music journalists, “American Idol” judge Randy Jackson, best friend Danielle Stori and many others, along with footage captured during Lambert’s sold-out concert last July in San Diego.
The special has been kept under tight wraps this month. Even Lambert’s mother, Leila, said last week that she hasn’t seen the program and will be forced to tape it when it airs, because she is flying this weekend to Paris, where she’ll spend Thanksgiving week with her sons (Adam is touring Europe this fall and his younger brother, Neil, is on his tour production crew).
“The producer, Michael Lynn, is very excited and passionate about the project and said the final production is wonderful,” Leila Lambert said. “I was able to share so many videos and photographs that have never been released before, so I think it will be refreshing. I have spoken with many people who were interviewed, and they said it was so enjoyable talking about Adam and his success story.”
For the complete story, click here.

Adam Lambert and crew have already started on their World Domination, and brother Neil, who is a Production Assistant on the Tour, is thankfully taking to the digital airwaves to give us some more hilarity. That is, if you can laugh at the tragedy that he’s able to make light of! Seems that their hotel is right in the middle of a racetrack, and the noise is deafening! I don’t even want to think of how it may have effected Adam’s and the bands’ performance. Catch the video and check out pictures from the concert!!

Also, if you haven’t seen any of Neil’s and Cheeks’ hilarious videos, you can see them on the side of this video. They leave me rolling!! And check out NegativeNeil’s blog while you’re at it. This boy’s got the talent to entertain you, too! **Warning: not PG at all. Please don’t complain about his use of colorful words - he wrote it, I didn’t!

~ Carol Glamb #7 ~

Adam Lambert’s dad, Eber Lambert has a brilliant mind for comedy and telling it like it is. There’s no doubt where the brothers get their sense of humor from. If you follow him on Twitter, you’ll be rolling from many of his tweets (and educated by the rest). Just catch the latest, obviously speaking to the Kansas City protesters last week.
milestougeaux
No, God hates figs. And most seafood as I recall. 10:18 AM Jul 16th via web

For those that doubt… http://www.flickr.com/photos/froboy/3343598218/sizes/l/in/set-72157614979271411/ 4:28 PM Jul 16th

Check this hilarious comment about Neil’s two-dimensional presence at a Denver signing. Did you all know that Neil is working as a production assistant (read gofer!) on Adam’s tour this summer? What a great brother to employ him. Now, where do the rest of us get in line?

@ravengirl57 http://twitpic.com/26ecwu - Tour merch folks are cutting edge: I’m sure the lifesize Neil mannequins will be a big seller about 21 hours ago (yesterday)

Just doing our best to give you some alternative pieces of Adam-tainment! Hope you enjoy!!

~ Carol ~

It sounds like last nights video shoot was just one big love-fest, and would we want it any other way?
It is so wonderful to see that Adam has not lost sight of who his real friends are, and they know how special he is as well. From the tweets below, it is apparent that they are all honored to be a part of this video and they all love him to death.
I simply cannot wait to see this video…shot in the forest with fire and glittery faces. I think because of the talent, and the amount of respect they all have for each other, it will be absolutely amazing.
It makes such a huge difference when you have the opportunity to “work” with, or for, someone that you truly love. It really makes it not “work” at all.
I consider myself lucky that I get to do this everyday…

ENJOY:

@adamlambert~Gearing up for all night video shoot for “If I Had You”!!!
@adamlambert~Invited a bunch of my performer friends to cameo in the video. It’s gonna be one big happy family!!

@TommyJoeRatliff~and yes @HideUrFeathers is doin my make up tonight!
@TommyJoeRatliff~k leaving now! :p ill tweet from the forest!

@katemthompson~@tommyjoeratliff what babes… You’re all invited to our wedding. Creatures of the night…

@LeoMoctezuma~Chillin in the dirt on a break between shots #IfIHadYou video w/ mamazun Alan Luis & I. So fun!

@LeoMoctezuma~Holding my bottle of Cafe Patron on the set of Adam Lambert’s “If I had You” Video shoot. Its 3:30am. Party time.

@LeoMoctezuma~Its 3am on adamlambert video set. We gettin sexy dancin our butts off. I love improving with my love alisanporter. So fun!

@alisanporterMy feeey were made for dancing. Bring it silver boots and forest floor.

@alisanporter~Thats a wrap

@LeoMoctezuma~Its a wrap on @adamlambert ’s friends dancers & our Cameo’s. Lol. But he’s still going. Gonna be a Hot video. Can’t wait till it comes out!

@monterrific~Monterrific It’s 4:30 am and we are in the forest getting ready to film the band part of the “If I Had You” video.

@monterrific~Monterrific Almost 6am. And it’s a wrap. So tired! Looks amazing from what we saw

@adamlambert~ That’s a wrap. Whew! Big thanks to the amazing cast and crew of the If I Had You music video!!

@leecherry~Just got home from the @ adamlambert video shoot. It was so lovely to see so much love and support. This video’s gonna be special. G’night!

@cassidyhaley ~i love u @ adamlambert & yur song, but i swear if it doesn’t stop rattling around my head soon .. lol .. “got my leather boots on …”

@LeoMoctezuma~Congratulations @ adamlambert on Ur # IfIHadYou Video.Thank you for inviting me to be a part of it. Im so proud of you. Its gonna B Amazing! <3

@Mamazun~It’s a beautiful wrap@adamlambert video shoot, love and light was shared tonight! What deliciousness! Shine Adam! we hear u! LOVE!

@ TommyJoeRatliff~Stopped at a burrito stand by me house. Construction workers don’t take too kindly to glitter at 630am! :0

@UhHuhHerMusic~Good morning and good night…Video shoot was gorgeous. I can’t wait to see it in all it’s glory. xo

XO~SUE~GLAMB#10

Woman’s Day interviewed Adam’s mom, Leila. She’s always seemed like such a classy and sweet lady, and this interview only reinforces that impression! Articulate, well-spoken (just like both of her lovely sons), and sharing a bunch of childhood memories with us. (Link: here)

An American Idol Mom
WD talks to Adam Lambert’s #1 fan—his mom, Leila
By Angela Ebron Posted December 29, 2009 from WomansDay.com

What was Adam like as a little boy?
He was very precocious. I took him to a lot of plays and concerts when he was small, and he always found a deeper meaning in them while I always took things literally. One time we went to see Les Miserables when Adam was 8. Afterward, he went into this elaborate discussion about how things were staged. He was so inquisitive, always asking questions. When he was about 5 years old he asked, “If God is in the sky, how does he see through the roof?” I had to tell him, “I’ll get back to you on that.”

What was your reaction the first time you realized Adam had such an incredible voice?
I remember he was in a children’s production of Fiddler on the Roof when he was about 10 years old. I’d never watched the rehearsals. So during the show when he got on top of a table and let out this note, I just looked at his dad and said, “Where’d that come from?”

Did you always believe that your son would make it in the music business one day?
Adam has always said that you don’t get discovered, you have to work for it. I thought his hard work would be what would pay off for him—and it has.

How has life changed since American Idol?
It’s very surreal. I have a hard time realizing that my son is now a household name to many people. The beauty is he’s still living in the same town he’s lived in for the last nine years and he still has the same friends. But the amount of work he’s doing has changed. Although he can’t always go places and he has to try to be more inconspicuous, he really appreciates the love and support of his fans. They have touched his life. Once when we were at a restaurant, a woman from another table came up and asked if he’d sing “Happy Birthday” to her daughter. I said, “No, we’re eating,” but Adam said, “It’s OK, Mom,” and told the woman that he’d stop by after we’d finished. He went over in a little bit and sang to her daughter. It was a wakeup call for me.

Many people thought Adam should have won American Idol. Do you think not winning may actually be better, given the success of other Idol alums like Jennifer Hudson and Chris Daughtry?
I really don’t think it matters. Being first, second or third—one isn’t any better than the other. I think Adam would be in the same position if he’d won.

What was your favorite American Idol performance by Adam?
I loved when he performed “Satisfaction.” And “Black or White.” And “One.” I can’t pick a favorite!

What do you think of Simon Cowell?
I never really met him. Paula was the one who’d take the time after every show to come over and talk. She was so supportive. But Simon’s critiques were right a lot of the time. He knows what he’s talking about.

What’s one thing people would be surprised to know about Adam?
A lot of people think he’s caught up in the business, but when I see him with his friends he doesn’t even talk about his career.

If you had to describe your son in one word, what would it be?
Honest.

What was your favorite Mother’s Day present from Adam?
A card he made for me when he was 15. There was a flower on the front and each petal was cut out from foil. Inside he’d written a poem about how much he loved and appreciated me. I still have that card.

What do you think of Adam’s For Your Entertainment album cover?
It’s not my favorite. I don’t tend to go outside the box, but Adam is a free spirit. He was just being himself. He liked it and thought it was fun. It’s an expression of his creativity.

Did all the media speculation about Adam’s sexuality (before he confirmed that he is gay) bother you?
It didn’t bother me at all because it’s who Adam is. He didn’t want his being gay to be the focus. He wanted to address it when the time was right.

You moved to Los Angeles from San Francisco to help Adam; what’s your role in his career now?
I’m so happy and thrilled to be a part of what’s going on, but I don’t have a huge role. I’m not managing him. I’ll give you an example of what I do. He called me late one night from rehearsal while he was recording the album. He needed a shirt for an appearance the next morning and asked me to iron one for him. That’s my role. I’m here for him when he needs me. I’m just his mom.

What’s your hope for your son?
To be surrounded by people who love him. That’s what I want for him more than anything—to enjoy life and be surrounded by love.

Gossip websites Celebrity Gossip.com and JustJared.com caught Adam going to the Ole Henriksen Skin Care in Los Angeles last sunday. Accompanying him was his best friend, Danielle. They spent the day being pampered and just relaxing! Good thing Adam is keeping his pre-idol friends close and is finally relaxing after a hectic and crazy year.

A year, that he will close off headlining the LA Gridlock New Year’s Eve event, as reported before. However, after some gossip and rumors started by vague sources, Adam took Twitter to make it clear that this event is only for a live audience and will not be streamed or televised. So no 40-minutes set of Adam on television during New Years, sadly enough. Some Adam fans that are attending however are trying to re-live the tours Adamcast to provide streaming for the rest of us.

Back to Adam’s Spa visit. Some photos are copied below, for more (yeah, it was paparazzi; meaning 30ish photos per website) go to either CelebrityGossip.com or JustJared.com.

Adam and Danielle arriving

Walking out with some goodies. Love the sunglasses!

Up and close..

Shooing away the paps. Seriously Adam, what’s up with that funky keychain?

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momlogic: As Adam’s mother, what was going through your mind before and during the finale?

Leila Lambert: It was probably the night I was most nervous, excited, and emotional. I knew if he were to win it would be an amazing opportunity, and I knew if Kris won, it would be the same for him. Our families have become very good friends. Kris’s mom, Kim, and I looked to each other for support and I knew either way, either of the kids would be okay. Kim and I had a lot of talks and we knew they were both strong kids and they’d both be given wonderful opportunities, whatever the outcome. I was nervous, felt a lot of anticipation, but I was also excited because it was all good.

ml: What was going through your mind when they announced Kris Allen as the winner?

Leila: I think everyone wants to be a winner, no matter what you’re doing. Whether you’re playing cards or in this competition, whatever you’re doing in life, you want to win. Adam is a winner. He’s still a winner even though his name wasn’t called — as much as it’s wonderful to say, “I did win ‘American Idol.’” I felt great because I knew Adam was still a winner. I didn’t know how I was going to react but when it happened, the pressure was gone and I was very happy for Adam.

ml: At what age did you know there was something special or unique about your son? When did you discover his talent?

Leila: I would say as early as 3 years old, when I realized Adam could recite books verbatim and could make character voices even before he could read. He loved Halloween and taking on different characters. Then, I started putting him in theater groups. He thrived and loved the interaction with the other kids. At age 10, Adam sang for the first time. We knew there was something very unique for such a young boy to sing the notes he was reaching, so he began taking lessons.

ml: When he first told you he wanted to audition for “American Idol,” what was your reaction? 

Leila: His friends from “Wicked” encouraged him to audition. He called me and said, “I know it’s a long shot…” Adam was down in Los Angeles and the audition was up by me in San Francisco, where I live. I said he should go. He’s always successful when he does something, so I thought he should go for it. It sounded great. Everything in life is an adventure and it’s a new journey, so why not?

ml: When he first auditioned, did you ever think he’d make it this far?

Leila: Never! You know what the odds are, and to me, you have to be in the right place at the right time. You have to be there at that moment when someone is actually listening really closely. I never thought it would go this far. Not that I didn’t believe he was talented, but there is such a process, with so many people trying to get there as well. When he got home, I remember him telling me he was standing in line for hours. He and two friends left the house so early in the morning and didn’t get home until so late at night. They just stood there in line — and then they were heard after such a tiring day — I remember Adam was just hoping he sounded okay because he hardly got any sleep the night before. He was in the right place at the right time and it worked.

ml: As a mother, how has your life changed? And how has your son Adam’s life changed?

Leila: I would always say to people when he was younger, “I have a son who’s very talented … he’s a singer.” A parent is always proud of their child and I knew Adam was unique. But this opportunity has changed both of our lives. I came to Los Angeles every single week because I didn’t want to miss any of the competition. I liked being there. I took a backseat and watched. It’s the most amazing gift. It wasn’t easy working 50 hours a week and then traveling to Los Angeles on my days off, but it changed my life. Now I see what the opportunities are for Adam and it’s like a whole new life. A new life for him and me. I am just so excited to be part of this. My life is very different now, in fact I am going to be moving to Los Angeles from San Francisco. I am doing it because it’s a new life for all of us. I am very excited about it. His life is different because he was struggling to get by. Adam had a job in “Wicked,” but it was a paycheck and paid bills. He was working hard, but it wasn’t what he always wanted. Again, he was in the right place at the right time. But now, this is what he always wanted. His life will never be the same and it’s great because it’s his dream. To perform like this and be creative — it’s an amazing opportunity.

ml: Have you spent time with the other “Idol” moms? Was there ever a sense of competition or rivalry?

Leila: I didn’t get to know many of the “Idol” moms except for Kris’s mom. I can’t even remember when we started becoming friends, but we both knew our kids were very talented and very different in their styles. Even though it was a competition, they were so different. The ability to have someone who’s going through the exact same thing you’re going through (and it goes for Kris and Adam, as well as the Allens and us) was so great. We just kept saying, “Whatever happens, it’s all going to be great and right for them.” Having that bond and bouncing off each other like that really helped us all. We took a limo to the show together Tuesday. We all had dinner together last night. The Allens, myself, my son. It was my birthday yesterday and we wanted the Allens to be there. We told stories of our sons from when they were little and we have so much in common, it’s mind-boggling. We will be friends for a very long time. You do want your kid to win, but just like in the theater, your kid is a shining star, but you can’t make that happen without everyone else around them. I feel this connection with everyone else and never felt a competitive edge. It sounds crazy, but it’s because we have a friendship. Maybe if we were different — if we were more to ourselves and standoffish, maybe we would have had that competitive feeling. But we are open as people and it’s refreshing. I was so genuinely happy for the Allens when Kris won. We went right over and I gave Kim the biggest hug. We stood there hugging and looking onstage at our kids. It changes competition when you have that kind of support.

ml: What advice would you give to moms whose children want to audition for AI or who have a gift and aspire to be famous?

Leila: That’s easy … What I did as a mom and what I would tell other people is that if your child wants to take guitar lessons, ballet, singing lessons, or play a sport, you should do whatever it takes to get them there and help nurture it. Whether or not they become a soccer player or ballerina, they will take that confidence with them. They will learn they can do it, and they can do anything. Allow your kids to dream and provide them with whatever they need to fulfill their dream. If it’s a sacrifice and you have to drive them two hours away to a competition, you just do it. That’s what it takes to build confident children who then become confident adults.

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Everything related to Adam Lambert’s brother Neil is going to be posted here so keep checking back for more pictures and ’stuff.’ Before I get a million e-mails asking this question let me just give you the answer: YES, HE IS STRAIGHT.

Go get him ladies.

He is a very good writer and I’m really digging his humour. I can definitely relate. Reminds me of Maynard from ‘Tool.’ Pictures and posts from his blog below:

 

 

 

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From Neil Lambert’s Blog

“Take it all in, Neil”
by Neil on Apr.23, 2009

Lately I’ve been getting comments from people on here, via email, and real life and they all say the same thing: “Your life has forever changed because of American Idol. Take it all in, Neil! It’s gonna be a wild ride!”

My first reaction is to roll my eyes. I don’t feel any different, it’s just that my only sibling is a nationwide sensation at the moment. Also, why must I “take it all in”? If my life is changed forever, won’t there be taking-in time later on? Can’t I just take it in gradually instead of all at once? Why spoil it, you know?

Lately, though, I’ve begun to wonder. Perhaps my life has changed. Maybe I just don’t realize it which is why I don’t feel any different. So, today I decided to put this whole “your life has changed” premise to the test:

This morning I woke up for work just like normal. Besides a bit of extra drowsiness, I felt no different. Pulling on my clothes and brushing my teeth felt the same, my slightly disproportionate gut didn’t look any smaller, and my new haircut from last weekend still looked dorky. “It’s all in how you carry yourself, Neil,” I told myself. Nodding my head in agreement, I hopped in the car.

And that’s when it began. Cars seemed to part for me. Pedestrians scrambled over themselves to allow me the right of way. They shook their fists in praise of my awesome lineage. Other cars joined them, honking in agreement: Adam is talented, everyone loves him! You are related to Adam, everyone loves you! It’s simple logic, really, and I was suddenly a bit ashamed of having never though this way before. I eased onto the freeway, admiring all the Normal People going about their mundane lives. They will surely never get the opportunity to sit in the 5th row at a taping of the nation’s most popular television program simply because they followed one of the contestants out of the womb three years later! I could scarcely remember what it was like to live that way. So…. ordinary.

Cop car. Shit. I guess nothing’s changed. OR HAS IT?! I repeated my mantra for the day, that fame and glory are a state of mind. I stopped and the police officer followed suit. He approached my passenger side.

“License and registration, please.”

“Of course, officer,” I said while I shot him a cool and collected smile. He has no idea, of course, that I’ve been taking it all in for the whole morning and I am, naturally, a changed man. I continue to smile. The officer shoots me a quizzical stare while double checking the name on my I.D.

“Are you…?”

I didn’t want him to have to embarass himself. We both knew how that sentence was going to end: “…related to Adam Lambert?” Why not save him the trouble?

“Yes. Yes I am. Is there a problem, officer?” I beamed at him. So this is what it’s like, being indirectly famous. Life is good! Soon this cop would be stumbling over himself in apology. He had no idea who the fuck I was. I decided this time I would be merciful.

After a lengthy and frankly uncomfortable Field Sobriety Test, I realized my mistake. Do not finish police officer’s sentences for them. I can guarantee you that the end of their sentence, 99 times out of 100, is “…drunk?” and not “…Adam Lambert’s brother?”

Lesson learned: you are not cool. If complete strangers on the internet assume that your life is radically changing but you aren’t seeing the effects, that’s because your life is not radically changing. It’s not because you somehow managed to be unobservant over the course of the last few months, it’s because you are still lame. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but I’m glad it happened sooner rather than later.

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Seasonal Disorder

by Neil on Apr.10, 2009:

This morning I woke up and everything was gorgeous. After half a week of miserable, rainy weather, I was pleased to see sunlight glinting off of the assorted glass containers strewn across my desk.

It wasn’t just nice weather though, it was incredible weather. Two birds were fucking on my windowsill extolling this particularly glorious Friday. There was a hint of pine in the air.

God himself appeared to me in a sunbeam and said, “Stop masturbating, Neil, and listen to me. I exist, and I want you to walk with me along the beaches of Santa Cruz while I explain the intricacies of the universe to you.”

“Sorry God,” I said. “My boss pays the bills around here, not you, and I unfortunately have to work. Besides, I’m sure the weather will be beautiful over in San Jose.”

30 minutes later I’m half way over the mountains encased in fog. The entire day was a miserable, rainy mess.

Fuck my life.

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My brother is on American Idol today

by Neil on Jan 20, 2009

My brother Adam is going to be on American Idol Season 8. Perhaps I’m biased, but I think he should win.

It’s already a done deal, really. The rest of them should just go home. A-M-E-R-I-C-A-N I-D-O-L contains the word ‘Adam’ first of all, and unless there’s a guy competing this year named Ericn Iol, I really think that he’s got this thing locked up. Plus, the world greets Obama and Adam on the same day. Coincidence? Not a chance.

I encourage all of you (5 people who read this) to watch at 8pm PST on Fox. It’s gonna to be grand. Feel free to add your comments about his performance to this post so I can ride his coattails to e-fame. I’m a social network climber, big deal.

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Leaving Los Angeles

by Neil on Jan.05, 2009

I can’t recall exactly when the end of my LA trip begins. Adam and I sit around on Saturday brainstorming potential songs he could sing.

It’s funny: when we were kids, Adam annoyed the hell out of me when he sang along to songs on the radio. A song will play and he’ll sing along, oftentimes wildly improvising on what the artist recorded. I guess I always thought of it as a way to show off or compete with the singer to prove he is better than whoever is on the recording. He usually is. But in his apartment, I realize that Adam does this whether anyone is watching or not. Improvising helps him decide how he will sing it when someone is watching. Now I listen to him wail and I smile instead of cringe. I see in that private space the same side of him that I see in myself when I put on my favorite tracks and pluck out some notes along to it on my keyboard, alone in my room. It is for no one’s sake but my own.

We talk about unrequited love and his thoughts on the subject. He says things about his current situation that I said in that very same apartment two years previous.

Sunday is spent waiting for my ride back to Santa Cruz to arrive. I’m supposed to have breakfast with my friend Maggie but we mutually flake on each other. We speak on the phone instead, catching up on the last few months. I’m reminded why we became friends in the first place.

When I was 13, I had a friend who was 24. I did not find this strange. In fact, at the time, she was the only friend I had any genuine fun with. I don’t know if it was because I was an old soul or because she was young at heart, it must be a mixture of both. We drifted apart when I became an angsty teen, though I am happy to say we are friends once more even if it is currently peripheral.

Now she is 34, a mother. I’m 24, some guy. We speak on the phone as if nothing has changed except that my brother may or may not be imminently famous and I may or may not be moving to another country. It is a rare thing to have a friend purely because the two of you have compatible personalities and not because you both work together, or because you are both in college or in the same city.

Sometimes the most important friends are friends with seemingly nothing in common. Sometimes the best brothers are brothers that have nothing in common until you spend a weekend with them.

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LA Day 2
by Neil on Jan.02, 2009

I get a ride to Adam’s apartment to find out that we have completely miscommunicated. He is waiting for me at another location. No problem, I think, I’m in an adventurous mood. I’ll just kinda…. walk around Hollywood and wait for him to show up. Adam informs me that there is a public library somewhere in the East. Perfect. So I set out, imagining myself an explorer with walking stick in hand.

During my trek in search of the library I pass a house with a sign out front: “Psychic Readings: Tarot Cards of the Past, Present, and Future”

First off, that’s some poor presentation, Miss Chloe. By your wording I’m thinking you own a Tarot card museum. You should have been able to predict that many of your fellow citizens would be similarly confused. That you didn’t is the first indication that you are a bad psychic. Moreover, the entire house has bars on the windows and doors. Sooo, I’m going to pay you to read my fortune when you can’t even sense premonitions of impending breaking and entry at your home? No, not convinced.

I think of going in, but ultimately choose to save the $15 it will cost to make this post more interesting. I walk on, plodding my way through the urban wilderness in search of my true destination. Along the way I see a Scientology Library across the street. Christ, I hope this isn’t the library Adam had in mind. Again, I briefly entertain the notion of entering the library: “I’m here to research the study of science? I’m pretty sure I’m in the right place.” They’ve probably heard that one before. Maybe I’d say, “My engrams are, like, totally disrupting my destiny. I… I had a very loud birth,” while stifling some unexpected tears. Again, probably been done. Once again I move on in search of my true destination.

I finally find the library and silently rejoice. Of course I go straight for the Science Fiction section. Fahrenheit 451 instantly catches my eye. Hell yes! I’m ashamed to admit to not having read this book until now. Well, dear readers, that will quickly be remedied. I manage to get through one chapter before Adam arrives. It was good. It was really good, in fact, and every time I read something that exudes that level of quality right off the bat I think, “I should write. Not with the intent of contributing anything to the literary world, but because this author so obviously receives such pleasure from arranging words in the way that he does. I’m sure there are untold pleasures that await me if I put a pen to paper, too.”

But then Adam, or anyone else really, appears and my train of thought breaks. Suddenly I find myself riding around in his friend’s car petting her dog, Attila, and the inspiration evaporates. This happens to me quite frequently in many facets of my life: music, writing, pretty much anything creative. I always find myself content to observe, analyze, comment. It’s… hollow. What’s the point of living if you don’t create anything.

And then through some sheer luck or perhaps something more, I recall the quote at the beginning of Fahrenheit:

Don’t think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It’s self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can’t try to do things. You simply must do things. - Ray Bradbury

I know it sounds fleeting, but I think there’s a lot to learn from that. I’m going to attempt to live in this fashion more often.

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LA Day 1

by Neil on Jan.02, 2009

I slept in a tent last night. In LA. It turns out that upon leaving Santa Cruz, that nagging feeling I kept having that I had forgotten something was not for nothing. About an hour into the drive I slapped my forehead, gripped by the realization that my sleeping bag and pillow were sitting safely at home. So I slept in a tent at a friend’s house in her backyard. I should be clear: “tent” connotes some sort of squalor but I would venture to call this a luxury tent. It had electical outlets. Laptop, desk lamp, music, and my favorite: tons of blankets that her cat had seemingly lounged upon all day. So obviously my allergic response was potent. I made it through the night.

Now I’m on my way, to meet Adam at his house. I have no idea where I’ll be sleeping tonight. Maybe I won’t sleep? I don’t know. I think at some point I’m just going to give in and get a hotel room to make my life a lot easier.

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Sayounara Japan
by Neil on Jan.28, 2009

Last night the Embassy of Japan’s website was updated with information about who is scheduled for an interview for the JET program. I am not on the list. Yes, I checked it twice (three times in fact. Once this morning just in case I was dreaming). The myriad of reasons my application was not selected aren’t worth ruminating upon. I’ll never know why I was rejected because they don’t send a letter explaining the decision.

Well, Japan? You think all your applicants know what “ruminate” means? Fuck you.

It’s like Japan broke up with me last night. We were going strong, so I thought. I mean, sure, I hadn’t heard from her in a while but I didn’t sense any tension last time we spoke on the phone. We were going to move in together in August, but I guess that’s what you get for planning too far ahead.

She called last night to say, “Neil. Look, it’s you not me. I’m actually seeing 2,478 other guys right now. I don’t really care that they know how to properly use ‘ruminate’ in a sentence. I don’t even know how to use it in a sentence. Don’t call me, I’ll call you. Actually I won’t. Bye.”

So I shed some tears after realizing the full weight of our breakup. Particularly vexing is the embarassment I’ll have to endure when my friends ask, “How’s Japan doing? When are you moving in with her?” I’ll have to reply that, despite my talking about her all the time, we actually weren’t in a relationship. We went on a date once, that’s it, and I didn’t even get a kiss goodnight. But this whole time I’d been bragging to them about how we slept together.

Surprisingly, the bitterness hasn’t kicked in yet, just the disappointment. I guess I’m still in denial. When it does, though, you’ll know. Now this website has no future purpose which I guess is fitting considering I don’t either.

Now I’m just some college kid (not so) fresh from graduation with no plan, no short-term goal. Don’t worry, dear readers, I’m going to attempt to find a silver lining to all this. Perhaps now I’m better equipped for some serious fraternal coattail riding? I can ride those babies all the way through August, hopefully. I’m free to find a better job now, knowing I won’t be leaving in July.

Whatever that near future happens to be, Japan now has nothing to do with it. What should I do instead? I’m pretty open to suggestions at this point.

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A Trip to the Land of Locusts

by Neil on Jan.01, 2009

Talkin’ about L.A. there, but I wanted to be all cryptic and well read. I’m going to visit my brother there. On Thanksgiving we had this spectacular blowout of an argument.

You know those arguments you get into which start off innocently enough:

“Could you pay attention to the directions so we don’t get lost?”

“I don’t know. COULD YOU EVER MANAGE TO INTERACT WITH HUMAN BEINGS ON A BASE LEVEL THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING SHITHEEL?”

Surprisingly enough, I was the one with the mild shot across the bow and he was the one reducing me to splinters. So it turned into us trading blows for the sole purpose of cutting the deepest. He totally won, which sucked. Since then we’ve made amends and this will be our first test run of our not being dicks in each other’s presence since Thanksgiving. I’m anxious to see how it goes, though I’m pretty sure it’ll be fine.

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Neil just sent me an e-mail saying it’s ok to post the source. PLEASE don’t post a comment with OMG YOUR BROTHER IS SO HOTT!!!

Thanks.

SOURCE: http://negativeneil.com