Comical Response to “Open Letter to Adam”

Only seconds after submitting “Media Jumps in Response to “Open Letter to Adam” comes this humorous response by Joe Vogel from The Huffington Post. Adam even tweeted: hilarious.

I’m ROTFLMAO! I’m sure you will be too!

Dear Adam,
After reading Aaron Hickler’s (sic) open letter, I felt compelled to summarize and add a few more of my own suggestions on how you might further prove your “gayness” to the “gay community” (the gay community, of course, being defined as a monolithic entity of one heart and one mind). It is my hope that said suggestions will allow you to eventually break the chains of a record company that has controlled so many of your decisions over the past several months.
I like you, Adam, I really do. That is why I freely offer these pearls of wisdom on how to celebrate, not dilute, the purity of your sexual identity.
1. As an openly gay man, you must be “unapologetically flamboyant” at all times. No going “hetero,” or “stripped down,” even if it’s for a Motown song.
2. For the love of man, no photo shoots with naked women, especially smokin’ hot “six-foot barbies”; not only does this compromise the box God put you in, it might cause or give the illusion of temporary bi-curiosity, thereby inflaming the fantasies of millions more “barbies.”
3. Please refrain from saying women are “pretty” (or kittens). That’s not gay at all. Well, maybe the latter, but definitely not the former.
4. In the future, please make an LGBT magazine your first choice of appearance. Scrap that. In the future, please make Out–the highest circulated gay magazine in the United States, available at stores everywhere–your first magazine of choice. We hear you sell a lot of magazines and we want in–for gay rights, of course!
5. Please re-consider your gay-hating handlers, particularly 19 Records. They clearly have too much control over your creative choices. Could that album cover have been any more straight and predictable?
6. Not to mention all those censored moments on American Idol. Did you really think we wouldn’t notice who was pulling the strings on the vapid song choices and dull presentations of “Ring of Fire,” “Black or White,” “Mad World,” and “Change is Gonna Come.”
7. Which brings me to my next item: The gay community is troubled that while you have “come out” twice you keep going back “in.” To resolve this dilemma, and make absolutely clear to fans that you are indeed a gay man, we propose an “I’m gay” disclaimer on all album covers of For Your Entertainment
8. In addition, while the glam vibe of your album might make your “gayness” implicit, we suggest a few adjustments to song titles that will make clearer whose side you’re really on: “Strut (Like a Gay Man)”, “(Gays are) Sure Fire Winners,” and “Whataya Want From Me (Okay, I’ll be the Gay Messiah).”
9. If you forget everything else, remember that as a gay man you must convey your gayness unequivocally, at all times, and on the “gay community’s” terms. In the future, we will be watching to ensure your compliance (and maintain a blog for your discretions)
10. And finally, as a “gay pioneer,” remember that we are “all counting on you not to mess this up.” No pressure. Gay salvation depends on your career path. As the gay pop culture prophet Perez Hilton warns, you can either be a cog for the mainstream music machine or the gay community. There are no other options. You cannot be complex, you cannot be both masculine and feminine, you cannot resist labels or boxes, you cannot experiment, you cannot form your own identity, you cannot just be. You must always match stereotypes, meet expectations. Of course, if you do slip up and need to come out again as a gay man, Out Magazine would be happy to provide the platform.
The Gay Thought, Fashion, and Culture Police

About Carol

I started writing on this site back in May 2009, not knowing what I was in for or where it would take me. I had no idea of the joy and personal satisfaction I'd find here. I never dreamed that I'd get to meet Adam, but that dream came true! The bonus of becoming such great friends with Lila and the other fans is what keeps me going. Music gets me though every day. In addition to Adam, I love Muse, Linkin Park, 80s and finding newer bands and supporting them by attending everything that's within 350 miles. With Adam, the boundaries are farther! Thanks for joining us on this ride! :)


  1. This has got to be the funniest, and best response to all this craziness I’ve read so far … and I’ve read most of what’s been posted the last couple of days. I love Adam. Adam is Adam … not any lable other than “Adam”. That’s why every fan I’ve met so far … whether they are gay, straight, bi-sexual, male, female, or even animal (hey my Mom’s dog LOVES Adam’s music … dances around and howls while he sings … fabulous!), loves him for who he is and the talent he has. The haters have to get a life and let the rest of us enjoy the fabulous talent that has been unleashed on the world! Stop judging, stop analyzing, stop making something built for entertainment and happiness into something “deep”.

    Love-Peace-Light-Happiness for Adam and all the fans of Adam Lambert out there! The ride is fantastic!

  2. PamBiggs Glambert 510 says:

    Absolutely love this article! Amazes me how someone can try to dictate how another person should look, act, etc. Adam is who he is. He is one of the most well balanced and together people I’ve seen come out of Hollywood in a long time. He has his act together. Would be nice if all people (gay or straight) would follow his lead and just be yourself.

  3. Dianne Hill says:

    I agree with you DD. For the life of me I cannot understand why sexuality even comes into it. Who the fuck cares to be honest. As you say Adam is Adam and that is all that matters. We love him, he has a phenomenal talent and it doesn’t matter in the least that he is gay, so what. These people and haters need to go and get themselves a life and leave Adam alone.

    • Amen Dianne! The only sexuality I care about when it comes to Adam … is how sexy he is and how sexy he makes me feel! YOWZA! The man is walking, oozing sex. And that has nothing to do who he sleeps with or doesn’t sleep with. Could care less.

      • Dianne Hill says:

        And Amen to that DD. I totally agree, the sexiness is just in him and as you say oozes out of every pore. He is one hot sexy guy and he sends shivers down my spine every time I look at a picture (wish I could look at him – only in my dreams).

    • I am writing this while listening to Pick U Up … first time I am hearing it and ….. thud. The man is just so … so … ummm…. I can’t even put it into words. AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! I can’t hardly stand how sexy he sounds on this CD! I can’t wait to see him on AMA’s, videos coming up and in concert!

    • AdamAddict says:

      Yup Dianne,These haters need to go!! Like Cindy said,mean people sucks!Adam’s haters suck…er!!

  4. I read it hours ago and it was great. Bravo

  5. Here is another damm article all about sexuality, just what Adam did not want all the hype to be about. Its a shame a few days before the release of his Cd, all this crap is played out.|htmlws-main-w|dl2|link3|
    That freakin Out magazine editor Hicklin started the shit on this.

  6. leilani aloha says:

    Yeah!!! Love this article :):):)
    Love Adam!!!
    Love Adam the way he is:) gay, Bi, staright whatever
    we LOVE his amazing voice & charisma!!!
    Out – Eat your hearts out, Adam’s got the ” whole Package”

  7. cheryl 334 says:

    Congratulations to the Hufington Post! Well said, and not a moment too soon, for we all need to find some humor in this ‘clown’s’ ridiculous rantings and whimpings about how Adam is just not what this idiot had in mind for the magazine. Oh, it would be so easy for this idiot to continue trying to upset Adam’s debut on the AMAs, however, we, as Adam’s fanbase and loyal fans cannot stand for it. This idiot gives ‘gays’ a bad name!!! He has done more to set the gay community back a few decades than anyone in the republican party could have with all their efforts. He should be banished to ‘Gay Hell’ for the next 50 years.

  8. Gina Glamb#552 says:

    You r all so right. I’ve posted my feelings about being sick of all the bs regarding his sexuality. As far as I’m concerned this will only benefit Adam by making people more aware of him and breed curiousity. For those of us who were fortunate enough to see him perform live on the Idol tour, we know what he does on stage in a concert. The AMAs are going to wow the public because I’m sure Adam is planning a performance that will leave everyone in awe. Then all the bs won’t matter. His voice and charisma will outshine it all!

  9. judi maine says:

    Adam is the ultimate “HOT” in a human way no matter what your preference. He is so honest & real & he can sing better than most anyone I have heard in my lifetime. Let him be..he knows what he is doing ……..lets ride his wave with him & enjoy his smile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Adam is doing very well thank you. He’s doing what he wants so why change a thing? I think his being with a woman (Details mag) is not a cop out. In fact it gives “us” old broads something to fasinate about !!!!!

    • cheryl 334 says:

      GINA………..JUDI…………………….GEMDA……………….. more fresh air!!! Yeah!!! You are all Adam fans!!! (vs:sex talk fans) I agree with you all, and hope this puts an end to all the junk!

      AMAs on Sunday. Adam will surprise us!

      peace-love-light-truth-joy-happiness 4 ADAM!

  11. Seems like someone has his panties in a twist…

  12. Love it! Someday soon, maybe those who are discovering Adam will get it about how playful he is…here is a guy who as a little boy penciled a moustache on himself, posed wearing his three piece adult suit and looked absolutley darling and so proud of himself. To me, he is the creative sprite we all need to have in our treasure chests…the ability to play, the talent to carry it off and the goodness to embrace everyone…and be honest about it. Adam has a graciousness about him that is welcoming and not sarcastic (which speaks to his diplomacy and kindness), He is about exploring and discovering,,,and helping us, in this case, me…see that it is okay to be outrageous. It is fabulous to step outside of the mold, it is enlightening to discover our many facets. And I am 70, currently embracing cancer treatments…and who helps lift my spirits everyday? Adam! You just better believe I have THE white suit, the black nail polish and the eyeliner, plus some “ink.”..and when I recover I am struttin’ my stuff! Thank you, Adam. Go Rock the World!

  13. AdamRocks! says:


    Great post. . . good luck with your cancer treatments. . . I’m sure having the beauty that is Adam in your life does help lift your spirits. ~hugs~

    LOVED the article! It’s definitley been an interesting week. . .but I guarantee next week will blow this one out of the water!!! CANNOT WAIT!!!

    Cindy in MS
    Glamb #37

  14. ROFLMAO!!!

  15. rhymingrealtor says:

    I was able to totally diseregard that editorial because the article it self was so moving. Adam tells the truth – he opens himself up totally. He says things that most people would not dream of – and I don’t mean his experiments with girls I mean admitting his innocence in love and relationships. That was the first time I have ever heard anyone bring up the fact that they do not have a role model for a gay relationship. How true is that. We take for granted our married/lvining together /exclusive relationships because it is what we are used t seeing. I have a gay biological father ( it was the 50/60’s he was trying to fit in) who is in a comitted relationship – he is on his SO’s insurance policy ( great companies do that ) for over 25 years – I have 2 gay sister’s ( 1 is adopted – thats some coinkydink) Relationship examples are few and far between. How true when he says men think men just love sex so commitment is’nt needed. It is needed – and wanted by him and I am sure countless others. My sister has been with her SO for over 20 years and yet last year when she was very ill in the hospital her girlfriend called me to ask me if I should be the emergency contact. I told her NO! that is YOU!. They struggle with those issues all the time – Trying not to slight family. My family would not be slighted if my husband was my emergency contact and decision maker! Although I am close to these situations because of my family situation I am not always cognizent of certain things. That one line was such an eyeopener for me and I absorbed and will be cognizent of it in the future. Heterosexuals take for granted so many little things. Family pictures on a desk at work.. childern, wedding rings. All in your face reminders of our sexuality . I try to express that when I hear ” I dont care if he/she is gay, they just don’t have to be in my face about it” We are in their face all the time. My hope has always been that Adam would be instrumental in changing people’s small minded views. It is not his responsibilty to do so. But he will because he does it with his honesty.

  16. AMAZING!

  17. love, love this article! =)

  18. Musicalgal says:

    Adam is Adam – he does not anyone telling him how he should be or not be. Adam is what he is stop trying to change our Adam. We Glambert Fans just love Adam the way he is. He is about the music. He has stated that in interviews. Love Adam they way he is and for his talent. We all love Adam just the way he is. Listen to what Adam wants – this Adam’s life and his presentation. Go Adam Go.

  19. Now that’s what I call BRILLIANT!! I bet Mr Hickler wishes he had never written that letter…….